『おかえり』 ♬▬FISH'cash♡。

This is one of the rare times
that I honestly admit..
that I'm a FAILURE.
In all/most things.


Sorry Sayuu. Sorry.. your life's become messed up. You were strong but it wasn't enough. You.. became useless. I'm sorry that your goals have become so hard to reach; I'm sorry.. for not having enough time for things. I'm sorry.


-i'm saying sorry to myself, and to my future/what to come






I am freaking NOT being emo, for god's sake that term is so inappropriate for my situation. Life's just unfair, harsh, hard. I KNOW. But.. I'm pretty aware that my problems are.. let's say, more harder than those of normal life problems. I just don't like talking about it, so most of the time I look perfectly fine -_- This is what you get when you set your problems unsolved aside . damn

-------090810 edit//

THIS entry is not the reason for my long absence anymore. Things sort of came up, I just hope I get through it peacefully, so that I could get back again here :D







If anyone has been wondering why I had gone missing...

I'm just sad and depressed.

I'm scared to go online at sj-world.net/other places and look up the news, maybe because of Kibum. I'm not doing any of these on purpose, but.. it's just so depressing. Things have gone astray.. I miss him so much, that.. I think I'm seriously depressed. Something close to needing someone to consult to (but you see, I've got a strong heart, ;; )..

And there's the concerts (june 27th bkk, tokyo dome, sushow II),

the friends who are narrow minded, the missing people, the lovelife complications, the stupid family, my knee injury and random fuckery.

I feel like my birthday is cursed, or I am. I know this is life, but I've been keeping up with it for so long, people say I've gone numb and ice cold already. They think I'm all strong and mighty, that I could be like this forever.

I've been independently strong my whole life, I never cried unless it really hurt, if ever I do cry it's always only by myself, no one knowing—heck, even wounds, cuts and bruises can't make me cry easily. I never talked back if something I want would effect someone I care for in a negative way. I agree to people so that arguments won't surface. I tolerate them, always. So, to whom am I gonna run to? I can't even tell these to my bestfriend, I don't want giving her problems.

I tell people that I'll be fine, I smile and all that... but inside it feels like I'm faking it, like I'm fooling myself that I am. I feel empty. Like I have no 삶의raison anymore. I'm not forcing myself to be fine though, but it's like that. You see I've gone really confused, maybe cos of keeping these to myself and only saying it now, stuff like that. \

Also, on my birthday, my mother will be at work. And of course, as if moving here at the Philippines is already bad, from Parañaque, made lots of friends there, then moved here to Cavite, staring from scratch.. I'm basically alone on my day :D lol i wonder if it could get any worst?


public so the other people looking for me would know why i'm missing.

Uh Uh can you catch me? Oh baby cop girl ミニスカートに発信装置を Stick
この感度は good good 捜査線をCheck please
Next U-KNOW are you ready?
I'm OK　(hey)

All right 通過　Security, change my style　ヒゲ＆サングラス
Chaserたちを撒まいてFollow up
Five gold fingers, c'mon pretty pretty girls

(Countdown hurry up 3, 2, 1　So sweetest trap)
It's show time we found the one
(Countdown hurry up sweet trap)
We want your mind　秘宝が眠ってるBabylon

報酬Kissをもう一回Right now (Catch me if you can- oh)
上空へGetaway gliderで Uh-ah

we get it baby if you wanna trap in T yeah (ah-ah)
we get it baby if you wanna trap in V yeah (uh-uh)
we get it baby if you wanna trap in X yeah (ah-ah)
we get it baby if you wanna trap in Q yeah (uh-uh)
we get it baby if you wanna trap in 4 yeah (ah-ah)

oh baby fantastic 狙った通りにwinner no wonder we are team of dream

XD WHAT

おもしろい～

Hi there people of the LJ world XD

FINALLY, after about .. 7 months, I finally made up my mind and successfully made a new msn account.

Byebye sapphire.angels.13@live.com, and hello

raisonxdetre@live.com !

:D

I will still occasionally open sapphire.angels.13, but I've already said my goodbyes to it.

finally~♥

PFFFT. ♥

Sungmin graphic will be late, shhh

It's TVXQ! day today; the 5th anniversary. I'll be back later with graphics. -> LOL somebody's joking :x


I can't believe it's been 5 years already.. I was a pre-debut fan (thanks to BoA, hmn~) of this 5 member group; I saw them a lot when I was still at Japan. lol. It's not obvious, I don't say it much, but I sometimes love them more than Super Junior >< ; I never got tired of them. I loved them, and I always will. Words can't quite express my feelings for them.. Ahh, I'll just return later. I seriously don't know what to write T-T

I'm back here, kinda, 3:25AM, and.. I just cried. XD I hate being to emotional -_- Oh LOL, there are tears on my keyboard T-T I just watched a couple of old DBSK videos, and yeah. being the soft girl that I am, I just can't help but cry.. PFFFFFFFT I sound so wtf -_- ; Remeniscing brings tears in my eyes.....

CREDITS: : www.forsiwon.com ; okaerichoco (for re-up)</lj> ;
* pictures are thumbnails

JANUARY [LEETEUK]


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